12athon: Month 3(AA)

I don't even know why I'm writing this. You should just read RWB's entry. It's way more awesome than mine, because she is way more awesome than I am.

I mean, really. She did TWELVE different challenges. I'm happy that I did two, and one was sort of by accident.

You're still here? Well, okay, then.

I did the Dirty Dozen and Naturalist challenges, the first of which entails wearing 11 extra gross pieces of clothing and taking one off per mile (and then presumably stripping off everything else you're wearing at the end in disgust, which I did, but there are no pictures of that, thanks). The Naturalist challenge just means I ran in shoes with a 4mm drop or less.

Here's the proof on the Dirty Dozen:

Here's the proof on the Naturalist challenge:

Here's the story:

I live on top of a hill, sort of, and it's pretty gross out, so I didn't want to throw my clothes straight onto the ground. Instead, I figured I'd pull my car out and park it at the foot of the driveway, and then fold my clothes neatly and lay them out in the back seat. Well, then I got to my car and found that my husband had deposited his tuba in the back seat, which nixed that idea.

Well, okay, and to be fair, anyone who thought I was going to fold my clothes neatly doesn't know me very well. But I digress.

I did, as a matter of fact, park my car at the base of the driveway, and then found a 1-mile route (it involved running my 0.95-mile route and then running around the cul-de-sac in a sort of victory lap) with my phone, which was coincidentally Mile 1. After that I thought I was going to die, because I was wearing about 97 million extra layers of clothing. Ewww.

I mean, I looked like this when I started:

I hate running in baseball caps. I really do.

Anyway, so, here it is, mile-by-mile:

Mile 1: OH GOD I FEEL LIKE A SAUSAGE.
Mile 2: Removed green Old Navy 'ActiveWear' supposed wicking hoodie. No real issues.
Mile 3: Removed gray cotton Race for Justice 2011 shirt. Still no issues. Finally marginally comfortable.
Mile 4: OMG TINY DOGS TRYING TO EAT ME. Removed black Columbia fleece sweatpant things, and was now officially out of pockets. Damnit. Tied my keys to the drawstring on my next pair of pants.
Mile 5: Kid asked me for directions. I gave him wrong directions, but I didn't see him again, so it was all right. Also got a blister about this time, but nonetheless, took off pink hat. FINALLY. Went inside to get bandaid and had to re-think strategy re: shoes at the end.
Mile 6: Removed purple sweatband, which was probably the dirtiest item of clothing that I was wearing. Ew. Glad to get rid of it, despite sweat.
Mile 7: Got rid of blue short-sleeved shirt, which I was wearing under a blue long-sleeved shirt. This was my best mile by far; I felt like I was wearing the right amount of clothing, finally.
Mile 8: Got rid of black capri-length cotton pants, which left me in gray knee-length sweatpant-y things. Still okay.
Mile 9: Realized it was my damn socks that were causing all the problems, but afraid to get rid of them, so removed white H & M tank top/camisole.
Mile 10: OKAY THEN. Got rid of left sock. Originally I was going to take off both shoes at the same time and run a lap in socks, and then the last one in bare feet, which is why I was wearing icky socks from my dead-sock pile (I recycle a lot). That would necessitate running three miles in a sports bra and shorts. Sure, fine, whatever. Then I realized there were a lot of teenagers around and since I don't look like RWB with my shirt off (seriously, she has rockin' abs), I did one sock at a time, instead.
Mile 11: BYE BYE RIGHT SOCK. I should have done that at, like, mile 2. Felt sooo much better.
Mile 12: Got rid of shoes. Bad idea. Should have gotten rid of shirt, or glasses, or pants, or ANYTHING but shoes. Too much gravel. Tried running in the grass, but that made my feet numb, and I figured the damage from gravel was a lot less permanent than the damage from frostbite, so. Anyway. Last mile took me a half hour. I'm fine now, though.

It took me about three and a half hours to complete all of this, what with the last lap being so long and having to take pictures and all, but hey. I'm definitely in line for the chocolate turtle!

Also, if you read this far, why? Go congratulate RWB instead.