June 12athon - RWB

Happy 12th! I woke up not feeling particularly well this morning, so I opted for the Bi-Curious challenge since running 6 miles sounded a lot more doable than running 12 at the moment. I ended up walking about 4 of the 6 miles anyway, but oh well:



The bike ride to the post office and back to mail a package wasn't bad, though. And this was the first time I'd used the watch for cycling, so that was kind of exciting, even if it didn't carry over the 'stop when I'm stopped' setting from the running mode and continued ticking along through the traffic lights.



And, for a few extra points, all in the Merrell Barefoot Dash Gloves, which do not glow in spite of appearing to do so in the picture. They are, however, awesome.

Happy trails to you . . .

. . . until we meet again? Today is apparently National Trails Day, and because of that, there was a 12athon Bonus run! 3.2 miles, on (unpaved) trails, for 3.2 points, and dressing as your favorite trail icon for an extra point. I did not do that, but I do have a picture of my favorite trail icon, if by 'trail icon' you mean 'wordless sign.'

(I think the guy is saying something totally safe for work.) The nearest trails to me are in a park that requires me to pay to park, and I'm not okay with that, so I normally run there, but I was not really into running 3 miles to get to trails, to run 3 miles, and then 3 miles home, so I drove 20 minutes (11 miles) to find another park. And ta-da! I found an unpaved trail!

Well, okay, that was actually a little thingy that went from one parking lot to another but from there I was able to find standard unpaved trails, with grass and weeds and mud and the occasional pile of rocks. I didn't get a picture because I'd put my camera back in my car by that point, so you'll just have to believe me. But you don't have to believe me on time! I can prove that.

I promise there are lots more posts coming; RWB and I did the Madison (Half) Marathon last weekend, and that meant LOTS of baking (no crap, 3 separate recipe posts coming, and a few reviews of crud), but for now, I will leave off here.

Syttende Mai

So, weirdly enough, this is not the first time I've run a distance dedicated to a Constitution Day, although the last time was for the US Constitution Day, which is September 17. I even have an ugly race shirt from it! But more importantly, I was supposed to run 5.17 miles today, for May 17, and I did:

But let's talk about what I had to do to get the Norwegian flag picture, which will hopefully net me another point. Yeah, a single point. I live in the northern 'burbs of the Twin Cities, and I googled the Norwegian Consulate because if anyone knows anything about the Twin Cities, they know that there's a Norwegian Consulate in town. Maybe. Um. So I went to the location, and there was nothing. No flags, no sign, not even a listing in the directory. Oh well. So I did get a picture of myself at the Norwegian Consulate:

And, um, for the record, I paid $2 to wander around downtown for 20 minutes, looking for the consulate:

And once I realized it just wasn't going to happen, I googled 'Norwegian cultural center,' to see if I'd have any more luck. I didn't, but I found a nice Norwegian Lutheran church, called the Mindekirke, and figured that would probably work, or at least have some Norwegian outside. Or something. Got there, and success!

And, to prove I was there (yes, that's my forehead and wispy hair; I cut out my eyes, which were in the original picture, because I was making a really funny face):

Oh, wait, that's not a Norwegian flag. Oh! But I have one of those, too! Kind of. It was on the wrong side of a door, but . . . style points?

Happy Constitution Day!

12athon: Month 4 (AA)

Last Sunday I ran 14 miles, which I thought was pretty awesome and impressive. (For me.) This week I'm supposed to run 16 miles, according to the chart I'm pretty much making up as I go along, and since I'm supposed to do 12 today anyway, I thought, HEY! MIGHT AS WELL DO 16 AS 12, AMIRITE?

So I suited up, got my hand-held water bottle full of electrolyte drink, got my fruit-snacky-things, etc. It was great. For about two miles, and then my right hamstring, which has been a little cranky lately, said, "No."

I said, "Um, yes."

It said, "No. No, you are not doing sixteen miles, and at this point, twelve is laughable."

I said, "%^&*." (Well, not really, but you can translate.) So I finished out my 4-mile loop (I was planning on running it 4 times anyway) and considered what else I could do. I mean, according to the chart, I'm supposed to do six or seven miles today anyway, so . . . OH! Right! Tri This.

So I ran two more miles--and by 'ran' I mean 'kinda jog-walked'--and then grabbed my rollerblades, since they were right there in the garage.

Um. Okay. I suppose here I should explain a little bit of my history with rollerblading. Back in April of 2001, which, yes, was eleven years ago (I was eighteen and stupid) I went rollerblading, went down a hill I shouldn't have, skinned the hell out of both knees and my hands and elbows and probably parts I'm not remembering, and smacked my back into a wooden guard rail, necessitating a trip to the emergency room. Fortunately, everything was fine, for varying degrees of fine, but I've got a giant scar on my left knee because of it, and slightly-messed-up hips. (No, there's no picture of the scar on my knee. It's pretty gross, though.)

Anyway, and I live in a place where I have a driveway that looks like this:



So rollerblading for me involved a significant amount of 'walking' on the grass and, you know, prayer. I didn't fall, though! Yay! Four miles of that.

Then I had to dig my bike out of the basement, which was just annoying. I'm on the short side, so getting a bike up the stairs is a matter of leverage that I just don't have. Got it up, eventually, though, and of course both my tires were flat. And of course the bike pump had the wrong attachment on the end, and I couldn't find the box with all the bits in it. (Mr. Angle's bike has the other kind of valves.) But hey! The mini-emergency bike pump had my kind of valve attachments, so I got my arm workout for the day in by doing that. *sigh*

Anyway, two quick miles on the bike--after a half hour of prep work, feh--and I was done!

Also I wore the same shoes as last time--Kinvara 2s, 4 mm drop:

And I did all of my running/blading/riding on a trail:

And, last but not least, I managed to get some excellent work in on my farmer's tan:

It's about time to switch to tank tops, methinks.

Anyway, numbers!

Miles jogged: 6 (in about 1:30, but I can't prove it)
Miles rollerbladed: 4 (in about an hour; stupid walking)
Miles biked: 2 (in about 14 minutes)
Total mileage: 12 (of course!)
Challenges: Tri This (9) and Naturalist (4) and Woodsy Owl (4)
Injuries from various activities: 3 (2 rub marks from rollerblades, 1 pair of pants that finally gave up the ghost in an indelicate spot--that's an injury, right?)
Songs listened to: About 20, but about twice each
Weirdest song to run to: "Holocaust of Giants," Rasputina (musical number--geddit? eh?)
Calories consumed at dinner: I don't think I can count that high

April 12athon: Sleepy Edition (RWB)

So I was going to do a Nighthawk this month. I thought about going out right at midnight but then decided I was tired and I’d get up and do it in the morning. I figured I’d be a bit tired and so I planned to allow for 12-minute miles. For some reason I determined that this meant starting at 4am would work because I could do 6 miles per hour and still have 20 minutes to spare before sunrise at 6:20. This is what happens when your job only requires the ability to count to four; I mean, I used to be Captain of the Math Team.

Still too early.
It occurred to me after about an hour that I’d made a slight miscalculation and was not going to finish before 6:20 at my current pace, so I napped for an hour or so and then went back out in time to catch the sunrise.


It took another half an hour for the sun to actually be visible over the trees, so I took another picture just for fun. Then I almost ran into a lady walking her dog because I’d been looking right at the sun to take a picture of it. Oops.


I also actually did bump into a (parked, bright red) car. It’s possible this had something to do with drinking two glasses of wine starting at 4am, but I’m also just sort of generally challenged in the spatial awareness department.


I've determined that really early in the morning is a great time for Sisyphus. You know when you drive somewhere when you're tired and at some point realize that you have no recollection whatsoever of getting from your starting point to your present location? There were several times that I thought to myself, 'Gee, I thought I just ran past this house; I don't remember that last lap at all' -- and then looked at my watch and realized I'd just done THREE laps since I last actually remembered passing that spot.


Although I did run past this one lady for three consecutive laps: on the first she was setting out a squirrel trap, on the second she was walking her dog and asked me to go around because he's blind, and on the third she said I was making everyone look bad, especially since I 'wasn't even wearing running shoes'. I guess she thought the toe-shoes were just a fashion statement?

Numbers:
Distance Run: 12 miles
Active Running Time: 2:52:46
Pace: 14:23 -- I am hoping that perhaps if I keep running I can qualify for Boston when I'm about 90. It wasn't so much that I was physically tired because of the early hour as that it took slightly longer than usual for my brain to remember that I had to pick up my feet again after putting them down.
Temperature: 42 (woot!) I know this because there's a house with a big window on the other side of the block and they were watching The Weather Channel.

12athon: Month 3(AA)

I don't even know why I'm writing this. You should just read RWB's entry. It's way more awesome than mine, because she is way more awesome than I am.

I mean, really. She did TWELVE different challenges. I'm happy that I did two, and one was sort of by accident.

You're still here? Well, okay, then.

I did the Dirty Dozen and Naturalist challenges, the first of which entails wearing 11 extra gross pieces of clothing and taking one off per mile (and then presumably stripping off everything else you're wearing at the end in disgust, which I did, but there are no pictures of that, thanks). The Naturalist challenge just means I ran in shoes with a 4mm drop or less.

Here's the proof on the Dirty Dozen:

Here's the proof on the Naturalist challenge:

Here's the story:

I live on top of a hill, sort of, and it's pretty gross out, so I didn't want to throw my clothes straight onto the ground. Instead, I figured I'd pull my car out and park it at the foot of the driveway, and then fold my clothes neatly and lay them out in the back seat. Well, then I got to my car and found that my husband had deposited his tuba in the back seat, which nixed that idea.

Well, okay, and to be fair, anyone who thought I was going to fold my clothes neatly doesn't know me very well. But I digress.

I did, as a matter of fact, park my car at the base of the driveway, and then found a 1-mile route (it involved running my 0.95-mile route and then running around the cul-de-sac in a sort of victory lap) with my phone, which was coincidentally Mile 1. After that I thought I was going to die, because I was wearing about 97 million extra layers of clothing. Ewww.

I mean, I looked like this when I started:

I hate running in baseball caps. I really do.

Anyway, so, here it is, mile-by-mile:

Mile 1: OH GOD I FEEL LIKE A SAUSAGE.
Mile 2: Removed green Old Navy 'ActiveWear' supposed wicking hoodie. No real issues.
Mile 3: Removed gray cotton Race for Justice 2011 shirt. Still no issues. Finally marginally comfortable.
Mile 4: OMG TINY DOGS TRYING TO EAT ME. Removed black Columbia fleece sweatpant things, and was now officially out of pockets. Damnit. Tied my keys to the drawstring on my next pair of pants.
Mile 5: Kid asked me for directions. I gave him wrong directions, but I didn't see him again, so it was all right. Also got a blister about this time, but nonetheless, took off pink hat. FINALLY. Went inside to get bandaid and had to re-think strategy re: shoes at the end.
Mile 6: Removed purple sweatband, which was probably the dirtiest item of clothing that I was wearing. Ew. Glad to get rid of it, despite sweat.
Mile 7: Got rid of blue short-sleeved shirt, which I was wearing under a blue long-sleeved shirt. This was my best mile by far; I felt like I was wearing the right amount of clothing, finally.
Mile 8: Got rid of black capri-length cotton pants, which left me in gray knee-length sweatpant-y things. Still okay.
Mile 9: Realized it was my damn socks that were causing all the problems, but afraid to get rid of them, so removed white H & M tank top/camisole.
Mile 10: OKAY THEN. Got rid of left sock. Originally I was going to take off both shoes at the same time and run a lap in socks, and then the last one in bare feet, which is why I was wearing icky socks from my dead-sock pile (I recycle a lot). That would necessitate running three miles in a sports bra and shorts. Sure, fine, whatever. Then I realized there were a lot of teenagers around and since I don't look like RWB with my shirt off (seriously, she has rockin' abs), I did one sock at a time, instead.
Mile 11: BYE BYE RIGHT SOCK. I should have done that at, like, mile 2. Felt sooo much better.
Mile 12: Got rid of shoes. Bad idea. Should have gotten rid of shirt, or glasses, or pants, or ANYTHING but shoes. Too much gravel. Tried running in the grass, but that made my feet numb, and I figured the damage from gravel was a lot less permanent than the damage from frostbite, so. Anyway. Last mile took me a half hour. I'm fine now, though.

It took me about three and a half hours to complete all of this, what with the last lap being so long and having to take pictures and all, but hey. I'm definitely in line for the chocolate turtle!

Also, if you read this far, why? Go congratulate RWB instead.

Leap Day run! (RWB)

So if I'd checked my email earlier in the day, I would've known that my stalker watch is supposed to get here today and then I could have used that to take a 2.9-mile run. That didn't happen, though, so I did it the old-fashioned way. Today was supposed to be 12 1/4-mile repeats, so I asked Google how far .2 miles was. 10*.25 + 2*.2 = 2.9. Not very exciting, but easy to keep track of and I'm kind of a wimp when it comes to doing repeats, so I was perfectly happy to cheat a little on the last two.

The Starting Line. I always wonder if people actually
walk up and buy newspapers out of this box. I guess
they must or else the News wouldn't bother putting
papers in it every morning?

Yeah, it's kind of up a hill. I assume I'd have slightly
faster times if I was doing my repeats on flat ground, but
this is less of a hill than the other 3 directions I could
go from home.

Finish Line! Now that I think about it, that seems
like kind of a weird place for a fire hydrant.
Is the asphalt going to catch fire?

According to Google, .2 miles from the newspaper box
is by the tree in front of the brown house next to the kind
of Spanish-y house. I wasn't sure about taking a picture of
someone's house specifically so I could put it on the internet,
so I took a picture of the park across the street instead.

Numbers!:
Total distance: 2.9 miles
Total time: 24:06.35
Average pace: 8:19 (Kinda slow for short sprints even for me; this may be related to the fact that I biked to yoga at 6am.)
Average pace in the uphill direction: 9:17
Average pace in the downhill direction: 7:20

12athon: Month 2 (AA)

Ow.

Okay, so today it was supposed to be cold. Unlike practically everyone else on the planet, I was expecting it. So I looked around for indoor options. There are two that are available to me thanks to being a student (grad/professional), and I picked the more heated one (i.e., not the Recreational Sports Dome): the 200-meter indoor track in the University Field House. Which is open 12n-10p on Sundays, yay!

Except I was running late--things to do afterward--so I didn't take any pictures. But if you really want to know what it looks like, there's a picture in the header of the University Field House link above. Otherwise, I can point you to this picture:



(which I borrowed from this guy, who is 200% more badass than I could ever be. Go give him hits on his blog to make up for me borrowing the picture. It's not the same track, I don't think, but the one at the U looks rather similar, in that 'red indoor track' sort of way.)

ANYWAY. I was running late. Sort of. Not at the beginning. The sign said that 6.9 laps on the outside equaled one mile, so I did some fast-and-dirty math (yes, math can be fast and dirty) and came up with 83 laps. Which, I suppose, is better than the 96 I was thinking I had to do. (I would have definitely cried ninety-six tears.) So I divided that into 21, 21, 21, and 20 laps. In each break, I drank water and ate some of the Cherry Blossom Honey Stinger organic chew things I happened to have (thanks, K!). Surprisingly tasty, considering that I'm iffy on cherry-flavored things.

Four hundred and ninety-eight million laps later (about 70 laps, honestly), my feet felt like lead--sooooo difficult to lift 'em. So, inspired by the two honest-to-crap barefoot runners I saw earlier and the two people in VFFs, I said eff it and kicked my shoes off and ran the rest barefoot. It didn't hurt less, but it hurt differently. I did end up with a blister on one toe but I'm unclear as to whether it happened before, while my feet were swelling in the shoes, or while I was barefoot.

Honestly, that's the only interesting thing that happened during the entire run. 200-meter tracks are tiny. I forgot my headphones, so no music--I mostly listened to people playing soccer on the other side of the curtain.

So, numbers (as someone who is not Steve Chiotakis says now):

Distance: 12.03 mi
Time: 2.35 (so no, I didn't knock 15 minutes off my time, but 10 was good!)
Laps: 83
Laps barefoot: 13
Other women on the track: 1
Other people on the track: 9
People wearing minimalist shoes/no shoes: 5 (not counting me)
People who pretty much tried to knock me over every time they passed me: 1 (wtf, guy)
Water bottles (20 oz) consumed: 3
Challenges done this month: just 1--Sisyphus

Oh, and if anyone else is from Minnesota and reading this, the DSW in Maple Grove has a pretty good selection of Merrell True Gloves (men's) for $80 (instead of $110). *shrugs*

February 12athon: It's Too Freaking Cold (RWB)

This is my rest week before my first half marathon and I'm out of town and I have a performance later today, so I decided it was a good month to do the Rosie Ruiz challenge. I checked the weather forecast for the weekend before packing to leave on Wednesday - sunny with highs of 55-60 every day and lows of about 40. I brought a long-sleeve shirt (an REI Lightweight Polartec top, which is actually pretty awesome, if you were wondering) and some running capri pants, but that sounded warm enough not to bother with gloves and a knit hat if I did all my running in the afternoons. I remembered after I was in the car that I'd have to do the 12athon run in the morning because of the ballet, but I figured I could always go buy a pair of cheap gloves at Target.

The end of the closest bus route to my friend K.'s house where I'm staying is at a mall, so I figured that would be a good place to leave my car while I ran and hitched a ride on a bus. Only the first mile and a half of the bus route is walkable and I didn't want to wait for a bus in both directions, so I was going to walk that far, take the bus back to where I started, and then run the remaining 9 miles in the other direction since they actually have sidewalks there.

Then I checked the weather forecast again last night. Somewhere around 20 degrees with a wind chill making it feel about 10 degrees colder. There aren't a huge number of extremely compelling reasons to live in the South, but not having to deal with temperatures that cold is on the list. I suppose if I was at home I could have thrown on three pairs of pants, a couple of shirts, a hoodie, a fleece, a hat, a scarf, and (let's face it - I'm a bit of a wimp) two pairs of gloves, but I didn't really want to buy quite *that* much stuff at Target.

I thought it would be funny to wear this shirt
as one of my layers since it was so cold. Well,
okay, and it was the only t-shirt I had with me.

Clearly my original plan did not involve nearly enough time inside a nice, toasty bus. I also decided that maybe the subway was a better way to go than the bus - the bus I was planning to use only runs every 30 minutes on Sundays, there's a crappy-but-better-than-nothing heater in the train stations, and I could just walk to the other side of the platform instead of paying for the bus twice. The Dunwoody station is at Perimeter Mall and it's a mile if you park at the far corner of the mall parking lot and then run along the main road to the station. Perfect.

Fare gates. I know, super exciting.
I was going to take a picture while running around
the mall to the station, but a) you guys have all
seen a mall before and b) I didn't get around to
buying gloves so I didn't want to take my hands out
of my pockets.

One time when I was waiting at a MARTA station,
a community college photography class was there
taking pictures. At least none of them was the
only weirdo standing around snapping pictures
of a subway train.

Obviously this post needed at least one blurry
photo taken through the window. At least it was warm.

It's just over 5 miles to the Buckhead station, so I got off there. I had 15 minutes until the train going in the other direction was supposed to come, so I walked up and down the platform trying to stay warm. The station was basically empty, so it was easier to take pictures without getting funny looks from fellow travelers.

I was hoping maybe there would be a nice panoramic
view of the city or something, but an exit sign for
the freeway was about it.

I'm pretty sure this particular piece of subway wall art is made from scraps of flooring material which are painted bright colors.

Then I rode back to the mall and ran back to my car. The temperature had gotten all the way up to 23, but I still didn't want to take my hands out of my pockets to take a picture of a mall. Total time: 50 minutes for 12 miles! Man, I'm fast.

January 12athon - RWB

You guys, thirteen is a lot of cupcakes.


I know – they look pretty innocent as cupcakes go, don’t they? No gigantic swirling mounds of frosting, no sprinkles, chocolate shavings, or little candies on top. Well, I did the math on the ingredients in the cupcakes, and that picture up there contains roughly 3300 calories. Even if the twelve miles burned approximately 1200 calories, that still just about covers my caloric needs for the entire day. At least I know I won’t get hungry during the concert I’m playing tonight, right?

Anyway, my initial plan was, like last month, to do the Rosie Ruiz because I haven’t quite gotten up to 12 miles for my long runs. Then I looked at my calendar and realized that February 12 is only a week before my first Half and that I have four ballet performances that weekend, so Rosie is really the only way to make that month’s 12athon run feasible. I decided that the combination of Baked Goods and Single Fister would be perfectly doable because two weeks ago I took along half a dozen rum balls to snack on for my eight-mile run. Never mind the fact that rum balls are only as big around as a quarter or the fact that they really don’t have all that much alcohol in them even if they’re made with 151-proof rum. They tasted good and the run was pleasant all around. I wound up eating a baked good right before last week’s nine miles, too. A friend who was about to leave town for a couple of weeks offered me a slab of homemade gingerbread he had leftover from a party, and one important rule of being a professional musician is that if someone offers you free food, you take it and you eat it. I ended up eating an inadvisably large piece of it because all I’d had for dinner was a slice of Domino’s pizza (also free) at the school where I’d just spent the afternoon listening to honor band auditions. I was already a day late for my weekly long run, so I went out anyway. I felt a little sick for the first four miles or so, but in the end I kept my lunch down and the rest of the run went well.

I ended up settling on cupcakes rather than cookies for the Baked Goods challenge mostly because I’d have to decide on a cookie size. Cupcakes are easy – just fill the little paper cup most of the way and you’re good to go. It had also been a really long time since I’d made cupcakes and this seemed like a good way to remedy the situation. I decided that it would be a good idea to make several different kinds of cupcakes – eating thirteen of the same kind while running seemed like a pretty good way to guarantee that I would hate that particular kind of cupcake for the rest of my life. I pulled Vegan Cupcakes Take Over the World out of the cupboard even though I’m not vegan anymore because everything I’ve made out of there has been really good. The recipes almost always have enough batter for copious amounts of bowl-licking an extra cupcake, so I figured I could pick out flavors that would combine well and then dump the remnants from each recipe into the thirteenth liner for something of a marble cake effect.

Lucky Number Thirteen, a.k.a. the Bastard Cupcake. I don’t know
why it’s so shiny on top – none of the four recipes individually came out
that way. It’s also a bit hard to tell from the picture, but the Bastard is
really lumpy because one of the batters ended up rising almost twice as much
as one of the others did.

I thought about making chocolate-based cupcakes because the Swiss buttercream frosting that goes with the Cook’s Illustrated Ultimate Chocolate Cupcakes is truly a thing of beauty, but then I remembered that I’m out of baking chocolate and chocolate chips and I’d also need to get food coloring for properly-hued red velvet cupcakes. The picture of the Gingerbread Cupcake with Lemony Buttercream Frosting on the page facing the red velvet recipe looked promising, and I did have a picked-fresh-from-the-tree meyer lemon that someone gave me a week or two ago. I settled on Lemony Vanilla, Gingerbread, Earl Grey, and Green Tea cupcakes and a lemon buttercream of my own devising which I based loosely on the Cook’s Illustrated recipe even though lemon juice and bittersweet baking chocolate really have nothing in common and are in no way even remotely interchangeable.


I did the math for a quarter recipe of each and went to work.



Yeah, it took about two hours to get from the first of those pictures to the second. It’s kind of a pain in the butt when all of your measurements are things like “1/4c + 1T + 1t flour” and “3/16t baking powder” and you have to measure every ingredient four times into different bowls and then do things like try to cream two tablespoons each of butter and sugar with an electric beater. I think the variety during the run was worth it, though.

For the Single Fister, I put the requisite 5oz of Two-Buck Chuck Cabernet Sauvignon in my water bottle and then added enough water to fill it up. I thought this would be the most convenient way to stay hydrated and also drink an adult beverage since I’d already be carrying a cupcake. This was a terrible, terrible idea. Two-Buck Chuck isn’t anything to write home about, but it’s generally drinkable. It tastes like dirt if you water it down to about a third of its original strength and then use it to chase cupcakes.

Ready for action.

I took a couple of cupcakes with me to rehearsal this morning since I thought I might have a good opportunity for the Stung by Bees challenge – I had to play the first and third pieces and figured there was a good chance I could sneak in one of the two miles I planned to walk today during the second piece. I checked the bulletin board before rehearsal and it said the second piece was six minutes long. This morning was the dress rehearsal and that’s by far the easiest piece on the program, but surely it would need at least a few minutes of work, right? There was also a setup change for the third piece, so that should buy me a couple of extra minutes. I decided to go for it.

Okay, just looking at a picture of myself eating a cupcake is making
me feel a little queasy.

For the first cupcake, I went with the Green Tea. It seemed like a good choice for 10:22 in the morning. I’ve made this recipe before, so I knew they were good. I did decide to experiment and make everything with spelt flour this time, though – I did not do what the internet told me to do and add a bit of extra baking powder, so none of the cupcakes rose as much as they should have in the oven. They still tasted good, even if they were a bit on the dense side. They’re not too sweet, so I tentatively planned to save the other two for the end of the run, when I’d probably be really sick of sugar.

I walked quickly, nervously watching my phone the whole time in case the Personnel Manager called to tell me that I was supposed to be on stage playing the third piece. The cupcakes might not all have been pleasant, but the most stressful part of the day was definitely taking a stroll around the block instead of twiddling my thumbs backstage for fifteen minutes.

Mission: Sneak Out for a Walk was a success!

I took an Earl Grey for the second cupcake since that also seemed relatively brunch-y. It occurred to me right after I bit into the cupcake that I could probably also have eaten it when I started up with the actual running after rehearsal, but in hindsight I’m glad that I spaced them out a little bit. Besides, the third piece on the program is hard and I figured an extra dose of sugary goodness right before rehearsing it might help out. (Typing the phrase ‘sugary goodness’ just now also made me feel a bit queasy.)

A couple of people called right before I went out to run so it was nearly 2pm and I hadn’t actually eaten anything resembling lunch yet. I did the first mile in 9:27 – I really wanted that freaking cupcake. The wind had picked up quite a bit since I’d walked the mile earlier, and my not-gloved hands were so cold I could barely unwrap the cupcake. I was too busy being cold and hungry to really notice much of anything flavorwise about the first Gingerbread cupcake. Three bites and that sucker was gone.

I know, I really missed my calling as a professional photographer.

The next mile took 9:41 – I really wanted my freaking gloves. The Lemon-Vanilla was delightfully citrus-y, but it was not doing anything to keep me warm. I ran inside and got my cycling gloves.

I look sort of like my eyes are closed in cupcake-y bliss, but really
I just blinked. Yeah, I can’t even manage to not blink in a picture
when *I’m* the one taking it.

I took a swig from the water bottle right before picking up the cupcake to carry for the next mile. As previously mentioned, it didn’t taste fantastic. It did at least wash down the cupcake crumbs, I guess. 10:05 for the third mile – I did want to eat the Bastard Cupcake, but not as badly as I wanted the first cupcake or my gloves.

The cupcake totally fell apart when I took it out of the wrapper.
I just dumped it in my hand and leaned over to stuff it in my
mouth in about two bites. As the Avenging Angle predicted,
it was actually really pretty awesome. Gingerbread spice
with a lot of lemon and orange flavor – it was kind of like
orange spice tea but in a cupcake.

10:28 for the next mile – while the Earl Grey cupcakes were good, I’d already had one. I wasn’t super motivated to get to it quickly.

Base Camp, a.k.a. my car. Complete with cupcake #7, ready
for me to pick up and carry as soon as I finish photographing
myself. And yes, I did spend half the time running down the street
with a cupcake in my hand because I mostly did a two-mile loop.

10:41 for the fifth mile – I took a Green Tea cupcake in the hopes that the wine-water wouldn’t taste as bad after that as it did after the sweeter cupcakes. It didn’t help. At all. Seriously – do not try the wine-water thing at home, kids. I mean it.

I think this is the last cupcake I actually enjoyed
eating. But hey, halfway there!

10:17 for mile six – it’s not like I was tired with all that sugar, so I tried to be a little less pokey.

Lemon-Vanilla. Yeah, I look like I’m not very excited
about that cupcake.

I grabbed two cupcakes and set out to do a 3-mile loop, just to mix it up a bit. Although since it’s just the two-mile route with an extra half-mile before the turnaround, there was a limited amount of mixing. Mile seven is where my stomach started to catch on that I was not playing nice today. 10:44, but I didn’t lose any cupcakes.

The Gingerbread cupcakes are actually really good when I’m not
busy worrying about my hands freezing off. It was definitely
getting more difficult to actually choke them down at this point,
but I enjoyed the taste of it, at least.

Mile eight was the hard mile of the 3-mile route – the first half is all uphill going around a park. 11:34.

Earl Grey. I really was pretty sick of cupcakes at this point.

Mile nine – back home again. I finished the grossness that was the wine-water. Finally. 10:44.

Hey, the sun came out! Only for about 30 seconds, but they
were a nice 30 seconds. It took me about 3/4ths of the next
mile to finish eating this cupcake. I couldn’t even taste it
anymore because I’d eaten so many freaking cupcakes. I
thought longingly of how I managed to scarf down the first
few in three bites or so.

I was going to do the two-mile loop again – run out, walk back – but one of my friend J.’s students called in a panic because she has her All-State Band audition on Saturday morning and a spring broke on her instrument and she wanted to know if she could bring it by in about half an hour. I said yes and ran half a mile and then back so that I could shower and brush my teeth before she showed up. I needed to gr to the library later to get the cupcake pictures I’d emailed myself, anyway – it’s about a mile so I could walk there after doing the repair and then eat my final cupcake. 10:02 for the final mile of running – I really needed to make sure I had time to shower.

I almost couldn’t eat this one. I just kept telling myself how
close I was and that there was no freaking way I’d already
eaten eleven cupcakes for nothing – ignore the cupcake,
focus on the delicious bonus points.

I had a glass of just plain old water with no wine in it when I got back. It was about the best thing I’ve ever tasted. The sun set before I got to walk the last mile, but the wind had died down a bit so it didn’t really feel any colder.

That is the blurry face of someone who is very happy about
not having to eat any more cupcakes. The Gingerbreads really
are awesome though – even after all of that, this one still tasted
good. Again, I didn’t want to actually have to swallow the thing,
but whatever.

Okay! Numbers.
Total distance: 12 miles
Total running distance: 10 miles
Total running time: 1:43:43
Average run pace: 10:22
Cupcakes eaten: 13
Butter eaten: 10 tablespoons (plus four tablespoons and one teaspoon of almond oil)
Sugar eaten: 20 tablespoons
Calories eaten: 3300 (1160 from the frosting and 2140 from the cupcakes themselves)